Study ruined my faith
If I say this, am I a dolt?
Is it true faith is for the blind, for the naive, the innocent?
Can I even say such things, and is it merely symptomatic of a religious loss of innocence…or have I become corrupted by the culture? My faith has certainly lost wonder, but perhaps due to exhaustion. I have those moments of wonder.
But then I find myself caught, along with the rest of my generation, Questioning where wonder comes in,
In a scientific world. God was amazing when we were so dependent When we needed god in our own minds to send rain,
To rise us from our sleep, keep our lungs filled with breath. But I feel that we,with the scientific and theories to explain Almost anything that we have,
We are being given a greater challenge…
A greater obstacle to overcome,
And more of a responsibility, considering that we have a different kind of spiritual knowledge due to the technological And scientific advances accomplished in our lifetimes.
What will god mean to our children?
I have never stopped finding the bible to be a fountain of truth. But when I say that, I don’t mean what most assume
Who go to church and study the word or hear it proclaimed.
I see truth, in the layers upon layers of interpretation,
Within the text, external to the text…
For all we have besides grammar, and even in the grammar,
Is interpretation, readings.
With faith, we are drawn deeper and deeper into the text.
How does faith start, what is it?
I could quote heb. 11.1, I could give Martin buber’s definition.. But the question is too hard to define.
It requires a kind of death to gain life, says apostle paul. It takes a leap beyond reason, says Kierkegaard.
It is foolishness to gain wisdom.
What does the way of faith in a text give what is not given elsewhere? I have so many questions about faith now.
About where my messiah is, what happened to the end of days after his death… The eschaton? Really? The change happened internally, now,
And won’t happen externally except through us in the end?
I have untraditional beliefs where my experience has brought me Am I still a Christian? I still love Jesus.
Am I still a person of faith? Yes but….
But perhaps it is more than just losing,
Perhaps there is this other richness I have not let permeate me deeply enough. There is still grace, I just have to reconsider myself in relation to it. My questions are genuine or I wouldn’t ask at all.
Sent from my iPad
October 24th, 2011 at 4:05 am
Do we really think we have the mental capacity to figure it all out? (wouldn’t the deceiver score on that thought!) Are we the Creator or the created? Who gave us the breath of life? Do all our scientific advancements create life, stop death or do they merely defer the consequences of our rebellion? (“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me…Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” Ps 139:1,7) Escape the headiness of endless study and worship!