Leshem Shamayim: “For the sake of heaven.”

A response to the world’s favorite Rabbi…

Perhaps when I think about it, our type of covenant is strange because we see no “physical effects.” So let’s run with holistic theology for a while: I am perfectly ok in saying that sanctification-salvation includes BODY and spirit. Let’s not play anymore with Greek dualism, its too dangerous to say that my spirit co-exists apart from me, so Jesus now just overlooks my sin because I live under this “Forgiven” banner. What does it mean for me to be obedient, forgiven? Sure, there’s a sense of “once for all,” but that doesn’t erase the sin I have committed which continues to separate me from God.

I had the hardest time fathoming, in my fundamental, systematic theology, how God was not the changing factor between the Old Testament. But God does change, He shows Himself more. So let’s throw away that silly, systematic induction and start with the Bible, front to back. When I look back and see the OC, the perpetual picture in my mind is Isaiah “I am a man of unclean lips.”

In my mind, I most easily understand by picturing myself there: Recent reading about Levitical purity laws challenges me that simply when my body does not function the way it was designed to, that would keep me from God. So I make a temporary sacrifice at the time of sin, or impurity (I don’t think OC “sin” is always intentional disobedience to the will of God as we think of it, but even when one’s bodily systems don’t function as designed due to sickness, cycles, etc.), and yet carry the guilt a whole year until the day of Atonement. Even then, my sin was just moved off me, but not gone. God did take away my guilt, but somehow, that was still connected to me, even though I was forgiven. Well, maybe I can think in terms of covering.

In the Garden, nothing separated man from God because the perfect state of existence (without sin) allowed man to bask in a special presence with God. In the OC, sin covered me… ok, forgivable, but not defeated. So I still can’t be in God’s presence, because its shadow is hanging over me. This is a very silly example, but remember that picture of sin being dealt with on man’s level but accumulating in Heaven? I think it’s the heavenly picture that matters, and until that stuff is burned up in “heaven,” I am still separated from God (to a greater degree than in the NC). Maybe this was a heaviness carried by more than just the spirit (just a thought).

But now I move into the NC. I like the thought of the Spirit being the means through which I live righteously rather than the Law. Let’s face it, the Law didn’t deal specifically enough with life for me to live perfectly, and left to do what I think with the Law? Well, c’mon, I’ll just make a decision that feels most comfortable to me. I can obey, but I don’t always know HOW to obey. That’s a big difference, I think. The Spirit interpreting those blanket-stated laws in the life of a believer is why I argue that for me now, sin is avoidable. So submitting my will to the Spirit is following His guiding, even if I can’t hear a whispering voice in my ear saying “do this.” Its (wow, this will sound mystical) letting go of myself and walking in a way that is not my own. Practice at this, I think becomes a form of habit (“growing in godliness”?) and perpetual walking in it brings understanding of actions (maturity?).

So besides having the Spirit, I am also relieved of this shadow of sin. In fact, the Spirit replaces the shadow of sin. Not only am I uncovered of the dirty rags that impurified me and incapacitated me from entering to the presence of His holiness, but I am clothed in the Spirit. I am covered in His Spirit, I can enter into His holiness, not just the site of it. WOW. I am sanctified, set apart to Him and justified in His blood. Don’t play games with me and tell me that’s just positional. Listen, I didn’t say I am mature in Christ yet. Am I at that perfect state of existence like the garden where I can choose between right and wrong? I want to say yes. I am as perfectly able to choose as Adam. Adam had just as much agenda as I do when I say. The difference between me and Adam is that I have an overwhelmingly greater number of choices. He had one, I have about a thousand a millisecond. So what does this say about the then?

Well, let’s picture the new place with Jesus as King. Personally, I want it to all be in a garden; the most important stuff happened there: Man walked with God; man fell; Jesus wrestled with and overcame temptation. But so how will I be different than now? I think (Dr. Snyder, pardon my crazy liberalism, I really do love Jesus) that I will be faced with just as many decisions, or more, as I am now [who tempts me? That’s a different question] but I will have so great a love for the Law of God, and be so united with the Spirit that sin will be not just a defilement and abomination to God, but to me too. I’ll be risky and wonder if “heaven” is a state of being here on the new earth where I desire nothing but God. There are two desires in me now: comfort and God. Too often, comfort has won. But martyrs lose that. I think they’re realized something I am taking longer to learn, praise God.

I’m a damned (meaning in the sense of “headed for hell,” not swearing…) heretic for saying this, aren’t I?

Anyone think anything about all this?

I whole-heartedly concur with Douglas Bookman’s definition of biblical counseling as “animated by a godward focus” (51), but his means of describing this focus do not accurately portray the victorious Christian life, but rather add Christianity as an obligation to a person’s life. Godliness should not be viewed in the negative terms as self-denial, for it is a denial of the old man, the lusts of the flesh, the desires of sin. Christians are freed from that old man. Perhaps I can tweak Bookman’s definition of godward focus to give it the beauty, which truly resides in counseling solely to the glory of God.
I see focusing on God in counseling as more than a direction, which the biblical counselor aims towards. If God truly become the center and cornerstone of an individual’s life, that person is no longer just pointing others towards God in the distance, but also demonstrating God through their very lives. In short, I believe true biblical counseling is an act of God through individuals who have becoming living sacrifices for Him. The biblical counselor has an obligation, by the very belief that God alone is God, to be Jesus to those who have never seen His face before. And even in counseling Christians, a biblical counselor cannot merely point them to the Bible, but must covey that refreshment of the Spirit, which comes from bringing a brother or sister to the Word and watching them, be renewed.
In essence, I believe biblical counseling is more than just a mode of operation while in the counseling office or when faced with a problem, but it is primarily a way of life. By taking up the gauntlet, which Christ threw down before all who asked to follow Him, the Christian counselor does indeed deny his old self. But in taking up his cross, he is not taking up an obligation; he is taking up a new life. That new life is not only taken from Christ, but is rooted in Christ. This means that Jesus does not just hand us a new nature and sends us on our merry way, but He sends His Spirit with us, to guide and comfort us. Thus we are made new in Christ and called to remain in Him in order to bear fruit.
Therefore, the Christian counselor must not only be knowledgeable about the Word of God, but must have an active, thriving relationship with Jesus Christ—so alive that all who come in contact with the counselor truly see Christ. Are we Christians not the body of Christ, “Jesus with skin on,” His ambassadors, His fellow heirs in God? Then let us bring others to Him and encourage them to remain in Him with us, even as Christ brought us into Himself and holds us fast in Him by giving us His Spirit to remain a fruitful branch of the vine.

My Father, my God, I seek you here, this evening, as I have sought you all day long, with my heart aching for your touch and my soul quavering faintly in awe of you.

My body needs you to sustain me, oh Lord, I am fragile and weak, one breath of your nostrils would shatter me, Lord of Heavens… your winds themselves would tear me to pieces if your breath of life did not hold me together. Look inside my heart, God of Abraham, and see my heart, see its coldness, see that it longs for you, just more of you, Lord, and fill me.

I have caught a glimpse of your glory, and I hunger for me, Lord Almighty. I have seen the shimmering rays of your presence… I have felt the warmth of your breath… I know the feeling of your touch. Breath on me again with your spirit, blow your life and strength into my lungs. Touch me and revive that joy of your salvation. Renew me, O God.

I am in awe of you, God of Israel. I am struck and lost in wonder. I marvel at you. May my body perish if just to be with you always. I know how wonderful you are. I would rather have you than life itself. Never take your presence from me, O Lord.

I am so lost in wonder that I cannot stand and I fall to my face, my spirit crying out praises to you, O God of Jacob, the Songmaker of David, the Father of Life. I will let my hands reach up to touch your presence, for I long for you, and I know that you will hear me, for I have confessed all wrongs, and I am pure in your eyes. Keep me pure, Longsuffering God. Let me always be right before you.

You give my mouth a better taste with your praise than the richest of foods, than the most savor flavors. Your love is of more intoxicating a drink than wine, and one that renders me powerless, in awe of you. Only you, Lord God, have claim on my heart, and I surrender it to you. I give you my all… I want nothing but you. Fill me up or empty me, crush me or make me… all I want is you.

My soul clings to you, I will not let you go, Lord God, even when you bless me. I will cleave to you and your word all the days of my life, for apart from you I can do nothing, and I will perish. You, O Savior are my refuge and strength. Never let me go.

I hope all my symbols in the chapter summary area make sense! I would love feedback on this assignment. The prof. gave it as kinda an experiment, and I’m having a lot of fun. He tells me I need to stop having so much fun with homework and do something else for a change. I just say “9 hr. work day on Saturday, the library isn’t that busy!” So please tell me what you think… I want to keep the integrity of the Bible’s message while having fun… this is a fictional assignment. How is it?

6a. Warning: Do not deny Jesus, His Father won’t like it!
6b. As to Abraham, God keeps promises.
7. Jesus > Aaron, as Melchizedek > Abraham
8. NC > OC

“My family celebrated Passover as we always do, my father and younger brother reciting the prayers and eating the feast which my mother, female relatives and I always spend the whole day preparing. Thinking about the sacrifice of a perfect lamb and how all the Jews still kill an animal to atone for their sins, I remember again how free I am by the sacrifice of Christ’s blood. Our high priest and our sacrifice—both perfect and complete. We Christians are so free compared to our Jewish brothers… we are no longer bound to these rituals in order to be right with God, our sacrifice is complete! Because Christ as our sacrifice is far better than the animal sacrifice of our fathers, we are able to have a far better faith than our fathers, even better than our father Abraham.

Think about it: Abraham did not know how animals sacrifices substituted for his sins, yet we not only know why Christ had to die, but our sacrifice did not stay dead! Because we have such a better sacrifice, how can we return to an imperfect sacrifice once we receive Christ? I am concerned that you are still wavering as to whether or not you may hide your new identity in Christ as act as if nothing had changed in your life. You have been given the Holy Spirit and been given the mind of Christ and tasted the goodness of God, so how can you fall away and hope to be given grace while you are putting the name of Christ to shame and crucifying Him again? It is impossible to repent while you are sinning! To deny Christ now in order to avoid persecution would be presuming upon God’s mercy, just like the Kadesh Barnea generation of our fathers.

They continued to sin, thinking that God would always be merciful, and so did not realize when God withdrew His mercy, sending them into the wilderness to wander. That was a terrible judgment which all of that generation who were disobedient paid for with their lives. Even worse was when our kings and people denied God through idolatry, taking no heed to the word of the prophets who were sent to warn them of coming exile. And so our fathers were carried off in chains, some never to return, because they tested God. So decide now to obey God, while you are sure that you may enter His rest after this trial, because a more terrible consequence than our fathers suffered lies before us if we fail. In fact, the consequence is so terrible, that we should not even desire to know what it is… because only through experiencing the limit of God’s mercy can we know where the line of His mercy is to cross.

As long as we continue to obey God and claim the name of Christ, enduring persecution, we can be sure that God will be faithful to us, as He was faithful to our father Abraham. If we persevere, God will give us rest after the persecutions have ceased. We cannot be sure of mercy or judgment from God if we are disobedient, so let us not kindle the Lord’s righteous judgment against us. Remember the greatness of our High Priest and the magnificent sacrifice He performed so that you will not fall away: Our Jesus was not a priest as Aaron who had to offer sacrifices for himself before he could atone for the people, but He is a perfect priest, always able to intercede on our behalf. Remember the account of Mechizedek, the priest-king whom Abraham encountered? He was just and perfect in the entire record of his life. In the same way, our Lord Jesus Christ lived and suffered as a man, but did so perfectly. Why would you want to turn back from the perfect to the imperfect?” (to be continued….) go to: http://imitatingchristsglory.blogspot.com/

I am having too much fun with this assignment. I basically have imagined the book of Hebrew to be written by a young Jewish-Christian girl about my age. Kinda like me. So here’s the next chapter summary of content included in this (second) argument in my narrative summary:

3. Son>Moses (the Son is greater than Moses)
4. Warning 2: Do not be like the Kadesh Barnea (1st Generation out of Egypt) generation and fail to enter God’s rest.
5. Jesus as High priest> OT High Priest

“Worship in the Temple is spectacular. The rabbi exhorted us out of the Law of Moses to cleanse ourselves from all impurities as we prepare for the Passover celebration. I remember when I was younger, scouring the house for the leaven which my mother would hide for my father, that he might prove to the family that our house was free from sin. Passover has become such a solemn time, where did the joy of our deliverance go? Is it not marvelous that God spoke to Moses, freeing Him people not only from Egypt, but from the idolatrous practices of surrounding nations through the Law? For we know that any man who perfectly kept the Law would be perfect in God’s eyes: how many could do this, though? Not even our father Moses who received the Law!

That is why our hope is in the perfection of Christ rather than the Law—we would be doomed to the same inability to obey the Law as Moses and the Kadesh Barnea generation. Even though Moses is the “father” of our Jewish heritage because God revealed Himself through the Law of Moses, Moses himself is not as great as Christ (for he cannot save us). Moses could not enable the people to obey the Law, he could only give them the Law. Yet in Christ, we who believe are made to be sons, and enabled by partaking in Christ’s death and His life to perfectly follow the Law. Christ is our righteousness, our ability to please and obey the Father while Moses was “merely” God’s servant.

However, like the generation of Kadesh Barnea, we are faced with a choice: to believe God and obey or to disbelieve God’s Word and sin. We see that those of Kadesh Barnea were given God’s grace in spite of their sin—God forgave them for countless sins before sending them to wander in the wilderness. All the grace they were given was the time in which God expected them to decide whether or not they would believe Him. The time called “today” passed when the ten spies and all the people besides Joshua and Caleb disbelieved that God was great enough to remove giants and large walls from their path into Canaan. God closed the window of opportunity for repentance after this last act of disbelief, fating the Kadesh Barnea generation to wander till dead for forty years in the wilderness.

What will we choose, to believe God’s word or to doubt Him? Do we believe that God is great enough to strengthen us through this persecution? The time is still “today,” and we cannot waver in the balance forever: we must either obediently claim Christ and endure persecution, or choose to believe the One who endured all trials as we do now and overcame them is incapable of helping us. If we fail to obey God and our window of opportunity passes, it is the same as if we chose not to believe God. Remember my brothers and sisters that this trial is only for a time—just as God promised rest in the land of Canaan to Israel if she obeyed Him, so He promises us rest after our time of persecution. His rest is still available to us now if we choose to obey, but a time will come when we cannot choose rest anymore. Let us obey now while we still can.

Think of our fathers leaving Egypt who disobeyed God: He caused them to wander 40 years and never enter His rest, leaving all the disobedient to die in the wilderness. And we who walk closer to God, what more terrible things would befall us to deny the truth of our Savior to save our own skins? Our fathers did not have the same atonement for sin that we have—Aaron had to continually sacrifice for both himself and the people that they might be right with God. With Christ as our high priest, there is no more sacrifice, for Christ’s perfect sacrifice paid once for all sins—enabling us to live freely from the law of sin and death. Let us take rest, then, in the completeness of our sacrifice in Christ and remain free through our obedience to God by persevering through this trial. ” (to be continued…)

Here’re the points covered in the following narrative, to read the background information for this blogging assignment, visit: http://imitatingchristsglory.blogspot.com/

1a. Son (NC)>prophets and angels (OC)[Son/sons are greater messengers than prophets and angels of the Old Covenant)
1b. Warning 1: There's a greater judgment for those disobedient to the NC than the OC
2. Son=man [Christ was fully man and fully God-- emphasis on identity with man despite "Godness"]

“We set out for Jerusalem one week ago on the perilous Passover journey. These days, my father tells me, are far different than when he made this traditional pilgrimage at my age. Now, the Romans rule our Holy City with an iron fist. Dangers await us on this road, not only from the wintry weather and bandits, but from Roman guards: if a man in our group looks threatening or speaks out too loudly in Jerusalem, he may be imprisoned. Zealous Jews have caused too many uprisings in recent days to allow us to peace of a Roman-free city in which to celebrate Passover. Because of the increasing Roman supervision, costs of this journey rise every year, more taxes, more bribes. I know my father has saved and sacrificed greatly to allow us this month long journey. I cannot wait to set foot in the Temple… to see the house where God chose to reside… to be in the place not only God’s presence resides in, but where God Himself walked.

Rumors have caught up to our caravan that the persecutions are drifting towards our town out of Rome. I wish I could be there with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, that we might encourage one another through this coming trial. I remember how fearful many grew when the shadow of persecution fell upon us. But we have such a greater hope than we used too; we no longer need to run from our enemies as we did before we knew Christ. While our fathers only knew God through the messages of His prophets and tidings of angels, we have a surer knowledge of our hope, for Christ made Himself visible to us! We know that Christ was a greater messenger than the prophets or angels because He has conquered where they were overcome: He has dominion over death, as do all who are sons in Him. We have so much a better understanding of truth than we did with just the revelation to the Jews, because God’s own sons have brought it to us!

What should persecution matter to us, if God Himself was willing to risk pain to bring us hope, bringing it through a far greater messenger than our fathers knew? Not only did the Son, Christ, bring to earth the news of the gospel, but we too heard the truth from sons rather than servants! Why are we so afraid of pain? Didn’t God allow His own sons (both Christ and other believers) to suffer for the truth? But we have the hope of glory beyond the pain of our bodies. Listen, I know its frightening to hear accounts of the pain our fellow believers have faced for Christ. I am on my way to our Holy city where James was recently killed, don’t you think I want to continue living? But Christ did not withhold His life from death in order to save me, so why should I not risk my life for His sake as well?

Be careful that you do not succumb to the temptation to hide behind your Jewish heritage. No, they will not persecute you if you renounce Christ, but how much greater will the consequence be for your disobedience to the call of a greater message? We know more fully than our fathers did of God’s salvation… and did they ever renounce their faith when times grew hard? Abraham believed God was his righteousness without ever seeing that righteousness, and yet we have seen ours, Christ! With our understanding, how will we be held blameless if we reject the truth to protect ourselves? How can we pretend we never saw the gift we have been given, never took part in it? That would be worse than having never accepted God’s salvation!

Jesus Himself knew what our pain was like, He knew from walking as a man in the will of the Father that we would face troubles. Jesus Himself suffered the same temptation in the Garden, the pain of death, separation from His beloved disciples even a greater pain than we face in persecution: the prospect of separation from God. Our Savior too agonized to the point of bleeding over the temptation to reject God’s will and be comfortable. But He chose obedience to the Father, cutting the path in which we might follow—perfectly obedient in spite of the pain. Therefore hold fast to the path God has prepared for us, even though pain and death may lie ahead, because He who endured the same struggle can keep you from falling!”

(digressing into prayer mode…)
I guess, God, I really just don’t like to hurt a lot, I like to be whole, I don’t want to live my life broken to pieces before Your throne, falling apart in a bucket of tears every time I turn to You.Its not that its uncomfortable. And I do want to know You, God… but if I fall apart, I am shattered, and You’re all that holds me together. God, do You know how much I have to trust You, then? How much one breath could shake me? I know I’m fragile, I don’t want to break so I can be effective! Yet somehow, you tell me its the breaking which makes me more effective. Whats with that, God? I don’t understand how me being broken can be helpful to You. Alright, whatever, break me. just do it, and then do whatever you want. You know better anyways (I’m finished)

Will you fall to pieces in the high country? You drink the cup to the bottom, but it burns in your hand. The Cup was poured out on the Maker instead… High Country by Caedmon’s Call

What did you first think Hebrews 4:12 meant when you read it?

I wonder about the process of Scripture becoming alive to us, especially those of us who grew up in the church. The Bible is a dangerous thing for us, because we have grown up knowing it and assume it, always read it as “truth”… yet somehow miss inhaling God’s respiratory breath from the Word. Its fascinating to me… I can honestly say the Bible is alive to me when I read… but only if I read. Sometimes I still struggle to get into the Book. There’s an intoxicating aroma rising from the Bible, but if I dare to pick it up, I dare not put it down for a long time. I always war with myself whether to begin, wondering if I can finish breathing in the amount of life God has for me each time I read the Book.

I guess I have been cut by this sword. I cannot even conceptualize how anything could separate soul and spirit. But I picture me as that flayed corpse on the medical examiner’s table, my body in so many parts and pieces that you can’t even tell it’s a body… and all done by the tiniest jot and tittle of God’s Word. And yet, as I stand there looking into the medical examiner’s room, I see myself and the Word of God acts as a mirror, dimly reflecting my own need of Christ back to me. And as it cuts out of me those infections that have festered within, the mirror gets a little less foggy, and I look a little more like Christ.

I realize by looking into this examiner’s room that I do not want God to remove trials and put a pillow under my dying head… letting me die. I want to live. And if that means amputation, so be it, let the sword cut away. God keeps asking me, in a more personal area each time, if I will let Him cut something away for His sake. And then, after asking, He puts the knife in my hand and says, “You’re turn, cut it off for Me.” I can’t be satisfied with immaturity anymore. Looking into the examiner’s room has so imprinted the need for surgery in my mind that if God wants to use my own hand to cut out the most precious thing I hold, I will hold out my hand for the knife, that perilously true Word of God.

And yet it doesn’t cease to cut with one incision. I feel like if I allow one cut, another follows. And another, and another, until His perfect will is accomplished. Ouch. But good. <(to DrGS)Thank you for sharing and making me think.>

Hannah

Good early morning all!
I am writing at the scene of a dreadful crime… a breaking and entering… I think it was an inside job, because all the doors are locked. Well, actually, I’m the criminal and am now finally sitting in my living room after getting locked out of my apartment. I have quite the adventures here at school living in the upperclassman suites. Though I am rarely out past 10 or 10.30pm, there’s no curfew. As with the freedom one also finds responsibility, but I have enjoyed living more on my own and staying up past any decent sort of hour every now and again to really get to know someone.

I have been living what some might call an intense, crazy, insane life. I am enrolled in a good number of classes, working over 20 hours a week now, and thoroughly enjoying my homework. This year classes feel so strange having only two Bible classes. And yet they are intense and my study of Hebrews for General Epistles is really illuminating the scripture too me. God has done so much in terms of teaching these past few weeks that I haven’t had time to make the most of all the opportunities He’s brought into my path so far.

This year I feel a change in the air. I am not the same person who came to Davis College last fall as a young Junior never having lived away before. I found myself more dependent than I’d ever dreamed I’d be on people and adjusting to establishment of my identity in Christ… discarding that old image cast by past fears and embracing what God has for me now and in the future. Last fall, amazing things really began happening in my life… as if the past 3 years before that when I had been struggling to surrender to God’s will were tests and trials that needed to be navigated to reach a renewed relationship with God. I was in a dark place last fall, and found freedom in truth that really pierced my clouded and confused understanding of God, myself, and the world around me.

Now I return to Davis after an extremely eventful summer, which did indeed prepare me for this year in ways I hadn’t imaged. One of those very significant ways was learning how (or beginning the learning process) to “stand in the gap.” I am at a transition point in a lot of ways this final year of college, in the process of waiting for some things to come to pass and waiting on the Lord for others. Over the summer, I learned about the comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit in a way more touchable than I had ever seen before. Now I am learning through a test which I have been comparing to Abraham’s since it began… sacrificing my Isaac. I know in the deepest corners of my heart that no one except Christ can or should be the cornerstone of my life.

While I realized last year that I was acting like one of those builders who rejected the cornerstone at first and tried all sorts of different shaped rocks in its place, the foundation of my life would only be sure upon the solid hope of my faith, Jesus Christ. But there’s always another pretty stone out there, and many times I am tempted to wedge it in next to Christ… but it doesn’t fit. So I am tempted to reorganize my life and focus on what is comfortable to me now. But as we’re reading in Hebrews now, I can no more deny Christ with my lifestyle than with my words. I look at where I have sought refuge and comfort, and it hasn’t always been in Christ. There have been times where I frequently wanted to seek it elsewhere.

But that’s the test of the gap I’m in… this transition between two points… I know where I’m coming from and I know some of what I’m going to. How i’ll get there, I have no idea. Besides learning the comfort and direction of the Spirit, I am learning how to trust like a child… just hold out my hand and be led. I am praying for you and for me this year that we live open lives solely founded on and in Christ, directed by His Word through His Spirit to the likeness of His image.

Seeking His Face, Hannah

Summary:
The North American Journal of Psychology theorized that while shy women would be more dependent upon their romantic partners than women who were not shy, while shy men showed no significant increase in dependency on their partners than the average man. The journal defines shyness as “the presence of inhibition and discomfort in social situations,” negatively affecting not only social interactions, but physiological and cognitive processes as well. The journal suggests that shy individuals are dependant on external factors to gauge the shyness of their responses to social interaction. An example of such an external factor could be an intimate relationship, whose interaction negatively fosters shyness in the shy individual, leading to dependency of the shy individual upon the significant other.
Because it is theorized that shyness has physiological affects, the journal suggests that shy individuals may rely on romantic partners to alleviate their shyness in situations. This emotional dependency tends to be exclusive, culminating in the shy individual’s dependency upon the significant other for “for heightened self-esteem, for identity, and for general functioning.” While shyness and interpersonal dependency share these qualities of exclusivity and external stimulation, interpersonal dependency is qualified by a preoccupied need for intimate relationship with others, which shyness is not.
While shyness and interpersonal dependent behavior seem to have similar motivations (and even share some motivations) in many cases, a significant difference in extreme cases of shyness and interpersonal dependency were found. While an extremely shy individual tends to be very submissive in relationships or avoid them completely, a very interpersonally dependent individual may display manipulating behavior in desperation to retain a relationship (though submissive temperament is often a result of interpersonal dependency. The research concludes by drawing a positive correlation between shyness and interpersonal dependency in women. Women “with high levels of shyness will be more likely to exhibit anxious attachment, exclusive dependency, emotional dependency, and overall dependency towards their intimate partners than individuals with low levels of shyness.”

Response:

Reading through the specific qualifications of a shy individual and those of an interpersonally dependent individual, I understand how the researchers were able to find correlation between the two social disablements in women. Because men are less emotionally wired in the mental way that women are, a shy man may only be shy in his physical approach of emotional expression to a woman. Once overcome, a shy man would become confidant in interactions with his romantic partner, and yet might remain shy in his interaction with other women. As long as a man’s significant other fulfilled his self-esteem needs, I do not think it likely that he would be emotionally dependent on her. Women, however, seem more emotionally vulnerable in such a predicament.
I draw my understanding of the difference between men and women’s actions in such a situation from my understanding of the curse put upon human nature at the Fall (Genesis 3:16-19). Mankind through Adam was not cursed in terms of interaction with his wife—no mention of any sort of desires for her or lack of desire. However womankind, through Eve, was not only cursed with pain in childbearing, but also in their emotions: “Your desire shall be for your husband and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16b). It is not a sin that a woman should desire her husband, because God created marriage as a unification of man and woman into one being. The root of the Hebrew word “teshuwqah” translated “desire,” means “stretching out after” or “desire, longing, craving.” (Blue Letter Bible) I would like to suggest that this “desire” is not to manipulate or control her husband, but an intense emotional desire for his love and approval, tainted in this curse by the sense that she can never be fulfilled in this desire.
From my understanding of the effect of God’s curse on women, I think that women are more likely to display interdependency as a result of shyness because of their intense emotional desire to be wanted, needed, and cherished by their husbands. This emotional drive in women might be present in peak capacity in shy women, who have the same desire to be cherished by their significant other as all other women, but less aptitude for displaying and receiving that love because of shy tendencies. Therefore, all this emotional energy in shy women is focused and concentrated on a single relationship, causing a woman to seek her entire identity in one man. She does this because she is desperate for his attention, even if such desperation is unnecessary. Because the woman wants to be the object of her romantic partner’s desire, she seeks to conform her entire person to his in hopes that this will make her all the more attractive to him, and increase his desire for her.
As Christians, it is obvious to us that a particular, fallible human should not the source of one’s identity, as we find our identity in Christ. I would like to theorize a step further with the research of this journal article in that not only are shy women more interpersonally dependent on their significant others, but they are more likely to be caught in abuse cycles because shy women are more apt to conform and submit to their significant other. In conclusion, I think this journal very accurately displays the tendencies of shy women to be interpersonally dependent on their romantic partners.

Works Cited:
Blue Letter Bible. “Dictionary and Word Search for teshuwqah (Strong’s 08669)”. Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2007. 8 September 2007. <http://cf.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H08669&Version=kjv>

North American Journal of Psychology (1 June 2007). An exploration of shyness and its relationship to partner dependency in romantic relationships.[Electronic Version] Retrieved 8 September 2007 from <http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary-
_0286-32191940_ITM>